May 2012
2 posts
“I sometimes think that people’s hearts are like deep wells. Nobody knows what’s...”
– Haruki Murkami, “Airplane” Blind Willow, Sleeping Woman
(via galapagosgal)
tonight i just want to chain-smoke and drink so i don’t have to feel or think.
April 2012
15 posts
a new tattoo is brewing. it's been too long.
this is what i get for watching boys don’t cry. this is shit.
i was raped on a sunday. twice. and then i spent the rest of the summer trying to get his image out of my head. so i slept with my best friend. because i thought it would help.
it didn’t. it just makes me question my sexuality even though i know i’m a lesbian
i just don’t know what the fuck to do anymore. i...
March 2012
27 posts
“We accept the love we think we deserve.”
– Stephen Chbosky (via everythingyoulovetohate)
i don't care how much therapy you've had
dreaming of being raped night after night and not being able to wake up from it is shitty. i can wake up and everything is okay and i can deal with life but when i’m asleep, i can’t control anything and that is the problem.
how am i supposed to sleep every night with this in my head and then be happy and productive during the day? i just don’t think it will work.
“Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for the...”
– Benjamin Disraeli (via girlinlondon)
sometimes
i just don’t know how to cope. how to cope with myself. there’s a lot that people don’t know, i make sure of it. but it’s times like these, well, shit. i’m in the therepy buisness. i’m supposed to have my shit together. but i don’t. i don’t ever. i just have found better, more clever ways to suppress my feelings, more ways to keep down what i real....
the second coming of christ: you tell me there are... →
zaedilux:
you tell me there are so many different ways to love me. i decide to humour you. show me, i say disbelievingly. i turn on my sneer extra bright and you rise up, in more ways than one, to my challenge. those two fucking small words ruin us though because every afternoon from tuesday to friday,…
beautiful.
TAKE CHANCES
this is a letter to yourself. you spend your life taking calculated risks. there are no uncalculated risks. that might end up hurting. and even though hurt is terrible, and then you don’t want to feel, you need to experience SOMETHING. you need to experience LIFE. you can’t just keep going on like usual and have life go on by and have every one else flourish because THEY’RE...
How To Ruin Your Life →
courageisgraceunderpressure:
Get stuck. Stay in one place your whole life. Always order vanilla even though the menu is four pages long. Become the type of person who sends back lattes. Save up your money for a plasma TV instead of a plane ticket. Talk a lot about things you know nothing about. Have an affair with someone you don’t even find attractive.
Refuse to forget your ex. Make it...
February 2012
4 posts
"Is rabbits eatable? Or you just s'posed to cuddle...
precious.
everything comes to this in the end.
even though there’s really no one that special in my life, i’m happy. well, that’s a relative term, happy enough that i don’t cry every day and i’m not afraid to drive my car by myself. i’ve found ways to cope with emotions, most of the time. sometimes i just buy a half gallon of the most delicious looking ice cream and drive somewhere and cry and cry and eat...
January 2012
3 posts
no, seriously, that's sexual harassment.
every time i hear trevor hall i think about the rape. it’s a shame, really, because trevor hall is quite fantastic. it’s just interesting that the brain is so connected to music and memories. i wish it wasn’t so i could just enjoy the music without thinking about his face, and what entirely went on.
i can see it in my head, his room, the sweet house, looking at the stars from...